


Just Another Chink In The Armor

by CUKat23



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt, Lesbian, One Shot, Sanvers - Freeform, prompt, prompt from Facebook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:33:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CUKat23/pseuds/CUKat23
Summary: Based on a prompt from Facebook.Pre Episode 2x08.  Sometime after Maggie "denies" Alex at the bar, Alex walks in to see Maggie making out with another woman.  Alex and Maggie's Reaction.





	Just Another Chink In The Armor

**Author's Note:**

> Yay!!! I've been so excited for prompts and I got my first one! Sooooo thank you to Liliana Croft who said:
> 
> "Ok, so, this is like the first time ever i request prompts, so here it goes: How about after some time of maggie "denying" Alex at the bar, she finds Alex making out with another woman? What happends? :)"
> 
> I truly hope this does justice to these two characters that I love and that it is what you had in mind. I can't wait to write more for you in the future! :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think and if you have prompts hit me with em!

Alex Danvers was in one word:  tough.  She had basically raised an alien child, she was one of the best agents to ever grace the halls of the DEO, and she was nothing short of the perfect physical specimen.  There wasn’t much that could break the woman.  When she did find something that managed to put a chink in her armor, she made a habit of distancing herself from it.  For example, up until the last year or so, she avoided phone calls with her mother.  Most of their conversations were via text or email and they were short, sweet, and to the point:  _Hi mom, just letting you know that I’m good.  Work’s been crazy.  Kara is great.  I hope everything is good at home.  I love you.  Alex._

It was easier to type up a quick email or a text and avoid any confrontation with her mother because all Alex wanted her entire life was to make Eliza proud and it just seemed unattainable and that hurt.  That caused the unbreakable woman to break and she couldn’t have that.  So, a few texts and a few shots of bourbon and she could avoid the impending breakdown. 

Another thing, she found in high school and college, that could make her flinch was relationships.  They never worked out.  She never felt comfortable when her first boyfriend put his hands on her waist and pulled her in for kisses.  She never wanted to talk about boys with her friends and they made it very clear that they found that extremely weird.  And all Alex wanted was to fit in.  She wanted to have friends other than her alien sister.  So, she would say everything she was “supposed to say.”  She would go out on dates when boys asked her out.  She even lost her virginity at 17 partially due to her “best friends”’ incessant comments about her being the last virgin in their senior class.

Once she had gotten to college, she kept trying for a while.  She went on dates and she went to mixers and she tried to force herself to feel the “right way” but nothing worked.  Until she met Jim (Beam), Jack (Daniels), and Jose (Cuervo).  The alcohol allowed her to lower her inhabitations just enough that she didn’t care that some creep had his hands all over her while dancing.  When she had a drink in her hand and the music was pounding, she didn’t have to feel the sadness that crept into her soul when she couldn’t force herself into liking any of the men she went on dates with.  Then when she would wake up in the morning, she would just refuse to let herself feel pity and she would get up and move on.  Just avoid the problem, that was how she made herself keep moving forward.

Once J’onn found her and helped her get her partying under control and recruited her to the DEO Alex found other ways to make herself impenetrable.  She cut back on her drinking (albeit just a little bit) and started working out like a mad man.  She spent hours upon hours in the workout room and in the sparring room getting herself in prime physical condition.  Adding a layer of physical armor to the full body suit of emotional armor she already wore.  Once she felt strong and independent in her own right, she admitted something to herself.  Love wasn’t for her.  She had given up a long time ago on the hope of finding someone.  She wasn’t wired to feel that way about someone, to enjoy that intimacy. 

She just didn’t have those moments of “ _Wow, this person is incredible, I want to get to know them more.”_ Or _“Wow, I’d really like to pin them to that table and do unspeakable things.”_

Well she didn’t, until Maggie Sawyer.

Maggie had turned Alex’s entire world upside down.  Had made her feel things she wasn’t sure she had ever felt before.  Well, that’s not true.  She had felt these feelings before but she had pushed them so far within herself and ran away in her attempts to be the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect agent.

Then she did something she never did.  She let Maggie in.  She dropped the armor and the walls and she left the dimpled detective into her heart. 

And then…

She should’ve expected it.  Should’ve seen it coming.

She came to regret that decision.

Because when Maggie pulled away from that kiss.  When Maggie softly smiled, and told her she needed to experience all these new feelings on her own.  When Maggie told, her she didn’t want her.  There was no armor between Maggie’s words and Alex’s heart.  Because she had let Maggie in.  She had taken a chance on all these new feelings, on Maggie, and then everything had come crashing down on her.  So, she did what she always did, she ran away.  It was engrained in her now.  Run away, run straight home, and pour herself into another bottle of Bourbon.

She was successful to an extent.  She managed to put back up a layer of that armor and rebuild herself but it required putting distance between her and Maggie.

Alex was so torn because Maggie was the first person in a long time who felt like a real friend to Alex.  She could talk to her about stuff she didn’t or couldn’t talk to Kara about.  She truly enjoyed their pool games and their jokes and working on cases together but she had to have the distance so that she could heal.

Then Maggie was at her door.  Maggie was telling her she couldn’t imagine her life without Alex in it.  She was smiling with those damn dimples and all of Alex’s will power was shot.  So, they made amends, they went back to their nightly pool games, and Alex desperately attempted to push away the feelings that were still lingering for Maggie despite her best efforts.

She was doing a pretty respectable job until that fateful Thursday night.

Alex had had a dreadful day.  She was training a new group of rookies and there were two or three guys in the group who were really cocky.  It didn’t take much for Alex to get them in check after she kicked all of their asses in the sparring room but the fact that she had to go that far really agitated her.  Then they were still dealing with Cadmus and trying to find her father.  It all just added up to Alex needing to have a few drinks and talk it all out with Maggie.  Get her point of view on it.

She tried to text the detective a couple times but got no response so she decided she would just head over to the bar and hope that Maggie was there.  Even if she wasn’t, maybe Alex could hustle a few innocent aliens out of a little of their money to make her feel a little better.

She walked into the bar and it was dark per normal.  It was busy for a Thursday night but not so busy that Alex couldn’t see straight across the bar.  What she saw made her stomach turn. 

Sitting across the bar on a stool was Maggie.  She had a full side view of the woman, dressed in her standard dark jeans, black boots, and a blue button up shirt.  Standing in front of Maggie whispering in her ear and causing the small detective to smile, was a blonde woman.  She stood just a bit shorter than Alex and had on a short red dress that Alex wouldn’t have found appropriate for a Thursday night in an alien dive bar. 

The woman pulled back from whispering in Maggie’s ear and then pulled her into a hot kiss. 

Alex just stood there in shock as the kiss continued…and continued….and continued into a full on make out session.   She doesn’t know when or why but suddenly she was way closer to the two who were still obliviously making out right in front of her. 

She felt all these emotions rush through her.  Every emotion that she had pushed down for the past few weeks rushed right to the surface.

Jealousy.  _I just want her to be kissing me like that_. 

Sadness.  _Why isn’t that me?  Am I not good enough?_

Anger.  _Who just makes out with some random tramp in a red dress in a bar!?_

Embarrassment.  _You have no right to be angry at her.  She’s single.  She can do whatever she wants and you don’t even know that woman._

She doesn’t even have time to register all the emotions before she’s all of the sudden making eye contact with Maggie.  The detective looks shocked to see Alex standing there and if Alex would let herself go down that road, she might even think the woman looks a little ashamed.

“Can we help you?” the woman in the red dress asks with a hiss.

Alex is shaken to her senses.  What was she doing? “No, I uh…I’m sorry, I’ll just…I have to go.” She turns to walk away as quickly as she can, mentally slapping herself for walking up to the two women.  She berates herself, internally, for looking like an idiot and stumbling over her words and running out of the bar.  Why was she doing this? She was over Maggie, dammit.  Wasn’t she?

She almost makes it to her motorcycle before she hears a voice.

“Danvers! Jesus Christ! Wait up!”  Maggie is coming out of the bar and closing in on where Alex is standing.

“Maggie, I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I was just creeping on you.  That was weird.  I’m going to go,” Alex explains while wildly flailing her hands around and grabbing her helmet off her bike.

“Danvers, just slow down a minute.  It’s okay.  What’s up?” Maggie said putting a hand on Alex’s left arm and stopping the woman from putting on her helmet.  She was a bit confused but she had an idea where all this was coming from.  She was happy that her and Alex were friends again but she wasn’t so naïve to think that feelings just go away.

They didn’t for her.  Maggie, of course, had feelings for Alex.  How could she not?  The woman was damn near perfect.  Beautiful, smart, badass but she was also newly out and Maggie wore her heart on her sleeve.  She could see herself falling for the beautiful agent.  Falling hard.  She didn’t know if she’d be able to take it if Alex found out that she was too good for her.  So, she pushed Alex away.  Told her to go explore these new feelings on her own.  Alex had been hurt and then angry at first but they had talked and they were good now but there was no doubt that deep in her heart, she wanted so much more than that.

“I just had a horrible day and I came here hoping you would be here and we could talk and play pool but then you’re here with her and clearly on a date or whatever and I don’t know.  I don’t know why I just walked up to you guys like that,” Alex said a little embarrassed. 

“Alex, it’s okay.  It’s not a date exactly.  We’ve…umm…that’s Sherry.  We’ve ‘hung out’ in the past and she was here and we had a few drinks and then…well you saw the rest I guess.”

Alex just nodded, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me Maggie.  We’re friends.”

Maggie could see that it pained Alex a bit to say that but she didn’t say anything.  She wanted this woman to feel comfortable and safe around her and calling her out right now wasn’t going to do that.

“Alex, I know we’re still working through the whole kiss thing but I just want you to know I would never purposely rub something like this in your face.  If I knew you were going to be coming tonight, I would’ve been more…discreet.”

“Check your phone more often then, Detective,” Alex said with a small smile and nodding her head towards the phone clip on Maggie’s belt where she kept her phone.

Maggie unclipped her phone and checked her messages and then sighed loudly.

“Shit, I’m sorry Danvers,” she said and it was genuine.  She felt bad that she had gotten carried away in a space that they share and had let Alex walk in on that.

Alex just patted Maggie’s arm, “I told you, it’s fine.  I am so fine.  Couldn’t be more fine with all of this.  We’re friends and I’m happy for you.  Now, go have fun.  I’m going to head home.  I could use a hot bath and a good night’s sleep anyways.”  Alex let go of Maggie’s arm that she had been holding the whole time and threw a leg over her motorcycle.

Maggie still looked unsure but decided to let it go, “Night Danvers, be safe.”

Alex just winked, “Always.  Night Sawyer.” She put her helmet on and rode off quickly into the night.

Maggie watched the woman drive away and stood there for several minutes after she was gone.  She just felt uneasy about this whole thing.  Why?  Alex was her friend.  FRIEND.  She could go right back in the bar and pick up where she left off with Sherry.  She could even go home with Sherry tonight.  Lord knows it wouldn’t be the first time.  Something was stopping her though.  It didn’t feel right to go home with Sherry tonight or anyone else except maybe Alex Danvers.

She quickly put that thought of her mind for the millionth time.  It would get them both hurt and she would lose Alex and she needed that woman in her life in some capacity.

Maggie heard her name being called and turned to see Sherry hanging out of the bar door with a beer for Maggie in one hand and a charming smile.  Maggie followed the woman back into the bar but they simply shared a drink, danced a bit, and then Maggie went home alone with thoughts of a certain DEO agent harassing her even in her dreams.

Alex made her way back to her quiet apartment and cracked open a new bottle of bourbon.  She sighed quietly as she filled up the glass about a quarter of the way.  She looked at the glass for a moment before filling the glass up to the halfway point.  She took her drink to the couch in her living room and sat down on her couch.  She leaned back into the couch and took a long sip of her drink. 

Alex tried to use a meditation technique that J’onn had taught her.  She took deep breaths and tried to completely clear her mind but it unfortunately even a Martian meditation technique couldn’t push out the images of the blonde woman’s hands all over Maggie.  Alex sat up and took another drink of her drink and willed herself to stop thinking about the incident.  Maggie was clearly okay with all of this and she would be too.  There were too many things in life that she had got through to let one woman put her in a funk.  To let one woman, tear down all the walls she spent years building no matter how amazing that woman was.  So once again, Alex found herself downing a drink and forcing herself to get up off her couch.  Forcing herself to take a shower.  Forcing herself to lie down in her bed and not think about Maggie Sawyer.  Not let herself fall into a hole of self-pity.  Because Alex was tough.  Physically tough, mentally tough, and emotionally tough and there was no way this was going to break her.

And it didn’t.  She got up the next morning and she had a great day with her rookies and they got a lead on a Cadmus hideout and Alex would never tell anyone, not even Kara, that the night before she had fallen asleep while hot tears dripped onto her pillow, each one with Maggie Sawyer’s name on them.


End file.
